The Power (and Peril) of Praising Your Kids

This article, The Power (and Peril) of Praising Your Kids -- New York Magazine, is long but a good read. It includes research and anecdotal evidence that excessive general praising is often more harmful than helpful to a person. Kids whose innate intelligence is praised (being called smart) often shy away from things they expect to be difficult or fall apart after a failure. Kids whose effort is praised, or who are given other very specific praise, rebound from failure, are more confident that they can achieve with more (or different) effort, and improve academically.

Just a few days ago, DS1 was telling DS2 what to do on a "Kindergarten" computer game that we have. I told DS1, as I often do, to stop telling DS2 what to do so he can figure it out himself. DS1 replied, "But I'm smarter than him." I quickly responded, "No, you're not. You are older than him and know some things that he doesn't, but that doesn't mean you're smarter than him." I'm not sure if that was a good response, but it's the best that came to mind quickly.

"Who is smarter?" is a question that I want to stay away from for as long as possible. Both my family and my DH's family have highly intelligent (IQ-wise) people. Some relish it, some discount it, some compare, and some know it but are both humble and confident so that when you meet them you can tell, but it is a non-issue.

My parents were not big praisers. However, I did know that they were proud of me and of my accomplishments, both academic and non-academic. I remember, in church, a dad of a friend announcing during the "joys and concerns" time about his son making honor roll. My parents never did that. I made it every time. Kids who are around others know if they are "smart"... reading groups, honors classes, grading fellow students' tests (although with privacy issues what they are these days, that is probably no longer done), and just general conversation and even grammar and vocabulary say a lot. Maybe that's part of my motivation to homeschool, so they can just be themselves instead of "the smart ones."

People have been telling me for years that my boys are smart. I suspect people have told them that also. Not to mention, "wow, you're really smart" in the Blue's Clue's song and "great counting," "great clapping," "great helping," and "we did it, we did it, we did it, hurray" on Dora the Explorer. (I'm not knocking those shows overall, just the over-the-top praise. And why to Dora and Boots and even Diego tell the kids to yell all the time? Oops, got a little off track, there. :-) Anyway, back to the article, it really hit home for me, as I suspect it will for anyone who reads because of reading about it here, in my blog. Please, let me know what you think.

Junior Pizzamaker

DS1 is an official Junior Pizzamaker! Our Sonlighters group took a field trip to Papa John's today. The kids (and moms) got to feel pizza dough, walk into the walk-in refrigerator, fluff the cheese, and put toppings on their own personal pan pizza. Then we got to eat the pizzas and have soft drinks. All for free!

I was extremely pleased at how well my boys paid attention to the manager when he was talking and showing us things. DS2 was a little fidgety while we were in the refrigerator and waiting for our turn at pizza making, but considering his age and general rambunctiousness, I was only slightly frustrated by the end of the 90 minutes.

A trip to the zoo

Our local zoo has cheap admission on Wednesdays in the winter. The forcast high temp is 70 today, so after over 2 weeks of being stuck inside with sick kids, sick mom, and/or below freezing highs we took advantage of the nice weather and cheap price for a visit to the zoo. Many from our homeschool group were going to meet near the entrance at 11:00, but we were running late and missed them. The zoo is so big, and there are so many different paths to take, I was only a little surprised that we didn't see anyone we knew in the 2 hours we were there.

Our goals were to see the elephants, zebras, and flamingos. We also saw the chimpanzees, baboons, hippos, rhinos, giraffes, kangaroos, gold fish, and a peacock on our way out. We ate lunch and played at the children's playground near the gorilla exhibit. Two hours is about all I can handle, especially without another adult helping, so I told the boys we could come back next week and see some of the animals that we missed today.

I think in a year or two it will be well worth a family membership. I have heard great things about their educational programs also.

WebRangers

DS1 was very interested in our National Parks DVD yesterday. DH did some surfing for National Parks info and came across this website, Welcome to WebRangers!, which bills itself as the National Park Service's site for kids of all ages. I've looked around a little on the site and it looks fun.

Freya And Heath Are Home Educated by Liz Pilley and Kim Holding

This book looks really cute. The older sister, Freya, narrates a story about herself and her brother, Heath, who are home educated. The page linked here has a few sample pages. The book can be purchased as a paperback or a download.

Unschooling Voices # 7

A Day in Our Lives: Unschooling Voices # 7 is up. I'm in it this time, too! This is the first time I've entered a blog carnival. It was pretty fun looking through my old posts to see if any fit the topic of deschooling.

MomsMinivan.com - 101 Car Games, Travel Games and Road Trip Games for Kids

This "Printable Road Trip Activities" could come in handy for our next trip.